Tuesday, September 25, 2007

t-minus 2 days

i can't believe i'm getting ready to leave again. it doesn't feel as real this time... maybe because i've already done it. either way, i'm really going. this time though i feel like i'm leaving with more of a sadness in my heart. i'm going to miss some big things this time... the birth of my best friend's baby... my niece's first birthday... christmas preparations... which is my all-time favorite part of the year. i love coming home after a day of work to a cozy decorated house and a beautifully lit tree. it just does something to me. come to think of it, who is going to decorate the house and the tree if i'm not here? i'm the "git-r-done" one around here who makes things happen. poor mom is on her own. maybe kate will come over and help her...

don't get me wrong, i'm excited about going back to denver. there are some really special people there that i can't wait to reconnect with. i just need to keep telling myself that it's going to be different this time. if i don't prepare myself i could be really disappointed and that wouldn't be good. i know it won't be the same as dts and it can't be... it's not the same people. this is a new chapter full of new friends and new experiences and i need to keep that at the forefront of my mind. i forget what the beginning of dts was like when nobody knew each other and we were all trying to find where we fit. it'll be strange to feel that all over again.

i know that the school of worship is something that i want to do though. i just feel like i need to do it now before i can make excuses not to. it's going to be a challenge for me and probably at times very hard and stretching, but i need that right now. i don't want to be comfortable all the time. how else will i grow? i'm not alone though and i know that. life's about taking risks but i can rest in the fact that when i jump i know who is there to catch me.

this will be a new season for me... one that will probably be very pivotal for me... i just don't know how yet. people have asked me what i hope to accomplish after this school and i really don't know. i just know that i have a passion to worship and i feel God the most when i do so i'm gonna run after that with everything that i have.

thank God we only have to do things one day at a time...

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