life is good

oh little blog of mine... how i miss thee... let me count the ways...

seriously though... the fact that i've neglected this little corner of the interweb for almost 6 months makes me wanna hang my head in shame. but at the same time i love that i don't feel bound to update this all the time. that i can be free to just live my life and come and go as i please. although that doesn't do much for the relationships i've built on here and the people who only know about my life when i post... so to those of you i'm sorry! jeff is constantly encouraging me to blog more and i just nod my head and say 'yeah yeah' and then i don't do it. i got an email the other day from a woman who has read my blog and found some inspiration and i wanted to share part of what she wrote with you:

"Last March I began my weight loss journey.  I stumbled across your blog and found so much inspiration!  I just wanted to let you know that if you still read this I have lost 65 pounds since March.  I found so much comfort in a real person who had done it.  I find it so hard to believe the tv ads and magazines that show people who have lost a considerable amount of weight.  Your faith is so inspirational and I believe that it is so important to the journey.  With God all things are possible. Thank you Susan!!!"

i love how just sharing your story can inspire and motivate someone to LITERALLY CHANGE THEIR LIFE. how amazing is that? it's once again a reminder of the power of social media to connect with people we otherwise wouldn't be able to. the chance to share our story. the ups the downs. the tears the laughter. it is such a powerful tool that can be used to harness SO.MUCH.GOOD. and i'm honored to be part of it... even in a small way!

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life is so crazy busy right now with just (hold me jesus) 37 days until the wedding but it is so crazy good. when i give myself time to just stop and think about this season of life i'm in i literally start bawling. no joke. ask my sister. i totally did it at bible study this week. i am just so overwhelmed with God's faithfulness in my life and how he knew, even amidst all the pain and brokenness i endured, that my story wouldn't end there. he saw my wedding day to jeff before i did. and i look back and remember a time where i didn't think the feelings i have today would ever be possible and yet here i am. i'm in awe. in awe of a Creator who weaves the tragedy of our lives into something more beautiful than we could have ever imagined. my heart is full of gratitude and most days i feel like words aren't enough. so i just cry. haha!

so much more i could say but for today this is enough. many more things i'd love to write about but i'll save that for another day.

grace and peace,

 

this present season

i have a tendency to get ahead of myself sometimes... whether it's looking to the next big thing or wishing i was further along in my plans in life. so this has definitely been a season for me of learning to be present. to just enjoy where i am and who i'm there with. to slow down and enjoy the moments that so easily slip by. i suppose that's contributed to some of the blog silence lately, but i feel like there's so much to share with all of you!

so let's dive right in shall we?

the boyfriend
it'd be cruel to not make this first since i know some of you are dying to know the details about this one! a month ago i got setup on a blind date with jeff... we have lots of mutual friends and connections but ultimately it was my mom who got the ball rolling to get him my number. we had a great time and by the end of our first date he asked if we could hang out again... our 2nd date he cooked me dinner at my house and to sound as cliche as possible- the rest is history. he's smart and kind and funny and so very sweet and i am so thankful that God has put him in my life. the last month with him has been very healing for me in a lot of ways and i am just so happy! we made our relationship 'official' last weekend, announced it on facebook and can't do anything but laugh at everyone's excitement for us. it's been fun. and just another thing that God is teaching me to stay present in. the whole dating and getting-to-know-you process is special and i want to enjoy every moment!
*i feel like i should thank my 5yo niece kyra. remember this post? yeah that was almost exactly 1 month before i met jeff. her prayers worked!

weight loss
i officially hit my 70lb goal on april 2nd and have even lost a few more pounds since then. i stopped tracking on weight watchers about 2 months ago because i just got burnt out. i needed a break. i had done it for so long and i didn't want to hate it. the fact that i'm still losing makes me feel like i really get it now and i know what my body needs in order to lose and/or maintain. it's been very empowering! i'm wearing size 6's and smalls and i still do a double take when i see my reflection or pictures that people have taken of me. i've come a long way and i'm proud of all the hard work i put in to get myself to this place.

the house
back in january i posted some home goals for this year and i am happy to report that i can cross some items off the list! a month ago i had my deck put on the back of the house and i love it! it has been so lovely to have an outdoor space and i can't wait for the weather to continue warming up so i can enjoy it even more. i've added some cute outdoor furniture and lights and it's so cozy! yesterday they installed my front storm door which adds so much light to the front of the house. while they were doing all the work i also had them install the dimmer in the dining room which makes such a difference! i also got around to dusting the ceiling fan in the kitchen... still have to do the one in my bedroom but now that i got that pillowcase dusting trick down it should be no problem! now that all the construction mess is over maybe i can get around to making my collage wall?

family
many of you read my sister's blog so you might have heard about what my poppop is going through as he was just recently diagnosed with bone cancer. my sister's post expresses so well how we all feel about this so i will just say that prayers are appreciated in this season. he should be going home on hospice care this weekend and we're all hoping to enjoy whatever time we have with him. i love this photo that my sister took last september at the hospital when my nephew was born. it means so much to me now!

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thanks for reading my long update! no promises on getting better about updating this... too busy being present... but we'll see.

have a wonderful day!

grace and peace,

 

no more excuses

if you've watched the biggest loser at all this season you'd know that their theme is "no more excuses." such a simple yet profound concept. i literally get asked the same question almost every day about my weight loss. how did you do it?

the simple answer i usually give is: weight watchers. sure, that's the program i used to track my food, to change my portion sizes, to get my eating under control, etc. but the more direct answer that i sometimes want to give is this: i stopped making excuses and did something about it. because that is the God-honest truth.

those people who ask me how i did it? 9 times out of 10 they respond back with an excuse as to why they can't do it. and i know this might sound harsh but when i hear the excuses sometimes i want to scream. or roll my eyes. or shake them.

are you still reading? yeah, i just admitted that.

i get frustrated because i can relate. THAT WAS ME. i lived in the land of excuses for years and years and was unhappy with my body as a result. i had trapped myself. it wasn't anyone elses fault. no one force fed me hershey's chocolate... although sometimes i wish someone would. haha. no one turned my car into that fast food drive through lane. no one tied me to the couch to watch hours of tv instead of getting up and exercising. I DID THAT. i made those choices and i had to live with the consequences of my decision. and my choices affected others, too. i struggled to have intimacy in relationships because i was insecure about who i was. i was ashamed of what i had done to myself.

so i had a choice to make. i had to accept that enough was enough. i had to do away with the excuses and own up to my decisions that led me to the place that i was. no one else could make that decision for me. i had to face it and OWN IT. and that my friends is what makes all the difference. when you can admit to yourself the honest truth about where you are and how you got there THAT will be your turning point. you have the power to make better choices each and every day that when strung together over months and years will result in a happier, healthier YOU.

let's let this be the year of no more excuses. the year that we decide to look at ourselves honestly. to put down the veil of denial that we've wrapped ourselves in and step out of the shadows. and that doesn't just relate to weight loss. that can translate into so many areas of our lives where we've held ourselves back from being who we know we are really called to be. as women, sisters, daughters, mothers, friends and if there's any guys reading- all that guy stuff, too.

don't let the excuses hold you back any more. life's too short to live in the shadows.

grace and peace,

my weight loss tools

in an effort to "pay it forward" i thought it'd be nice to share with you some tips and tricks that i've picked up over the last year or so in my journey with weight watchers. i know there are many of you just starting out and i thought it might be nice to hear some things that helped me in the hopes that they will help you, too!

today i'm gonna share with you some tools that i found extremely helpful and that you're gonna want to have handy.

1. food scale: i remember thinking that food scales were annoying and complicated and just another appliance to clog your countertop. let me tell you- i am singing a different tune these days. i'm kind of obsessed with my food scale. have you ever tried to count out a serving of potato chips? well it ain't easy. enter the food scale. most servings of chips (according to the nutrition facts) is about 1oz or 16 or so chips. it's so much quicker to just weigh them on your food scale instead of trying to find only the perfect chips and count out 16. trust me. i've tried. it's also a great way to get an accurate measurement on meats, cheeses, you name it. food scales are not a huge investment and there's all kinds of options out there.

2. measuring cups & spoons: ok i think i might be hard pressed to find a kitchen in america that doesn't have a set of measuring cups or spoons but how often are they really used? if you're like me i only ever brought them out for baking. not anymore! i use my measuring cups and spoons every single day. it's the best way to know exactly how much you're taking in which is crucial when tracking your food. it will help you learn portion sizes. the first time i measured out a cup of pasta i was shocked. i would have thought a cup would give me a lot more than it did. my idea of portion sizes were way off. a year later and i still measure almost everything. it's just a great way to ensure i stay on track.

3. water bottle: this one might seem a little obvious, but water is so important! some days i do really bad on my water intake and i can usually tell because i'm tired and get headaches. water is a vital key in your weight loss! i find that if i have a water bottle i like it makes drinking water so much easier. i love my camelbak but there's all kinds of great brands out there. also, don't be afraid to put some fruit in your water. some of my favorites to use are lemons, oranges and even strawberries. it adds some sweetness to the water which makes it more enjoyable. one way i ensure i reach my recommended water intake (8 glasses a day) is to keep a water bottle with me on those nights when i'm at home catching up on my dvr. instead of mindlessly eating, i try to mindlessly drink water. haha. it works!

4. measuring tape: one thing that i am so glad i did when i started weight watchers was take my measurements. sure we all really care about the number on the scale but weight loss isn't just about the number on the scale. your body is changing, things are shifting, muscle is taking over where fat used to reside and sometimes the scale just doesn't move. and that's where measurements help. there were many weeks on weight watchers where i didn't lose on the scale but i lost inches in my measurements. i dropped from a size 10 to an 8 over a 2-month period with almost no weight loss. my body was still changing and i was so happy i had those measurements to encourage me that i was still on the right track. in a year i've lost 33.5 inches off my body! 10.5 of those are from my waist. now that is motivation!
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those are just a few things that i've found helpful to have around and that i use on a daily or weekly basis. do you have any tools that you'd like to share? i'd love to hear them!

have a great day,

a year later

one year.

that's how long i've been on weight watchers. seriously? how is it that a whole year has passed? looking back i am amazed that i managed to stick with this program for so long. and the fact that i still enjoy being on it? total reflection of what an incredible plan weight watchers is. no, i'm not being paid or endorsed to promote weight watchers, but i would like to be! hello people! success story over here! put me on a commercial!

when i started a year ago my motivation was pretty simple- my wedding. i had 10 months to get myself in a place where i wouldn't hate the pictures for the rest of my life. and then in march that all crumbled. can i just say that i am so glad i didn't give up on my weight loss journey even while walking through one of the hardest years of my life? because i am. i had every excuse to quit. to give up. to say "to heck with it all." turns out there's a fighter in me. ok, well i already knew that, but usually the fighting is on behalf of others and not myself. it gave me motivation despite the pain i was feeling. it gave me something to be happy about. to focus on. and focus i did.

somehow i have managed to track almost every single thing i consumed in 2011. there was 1 weekend that i let myself off the hook. and then this christmas i gave myself a 12-day break. that's it people. i'm an all-or-nothing kind of gal so you can bet i was all-in with this weight watchers gig. and it paid off.

here i sit, one year later, 62lbs lighter. wearing size 8 jeans instead of 16. with a 32" waist instead of 42. with strong legs that can run 3 miles on any given day. with visible biceps! haha! and no, i don't make muscles in the mirror on a daily basis. psssshhhh. ok, ok i do. so sue me.  ;)

weight watchers has changed my life. i am stronger, i am healthier, i am happier. i have made so many new friends through this journey who have inspired me and dare i say, i think i might have even inspired a few along the way. it gives me great joy to be able to support and encourage you in your journey to health and to show that YOU CAN DO IT! it is possible! if a lazy girl like me can do it, anyone can. but you have to want it. you have to be ready for it. you have to believe that it's possible and not give up. yes, there will be hard days. there will be weeks where the scale doesn't move. it will not be easy. but most great things aren't!

look at me preaching over here. i get so passionate about this now! i think i need to channel this into some future blog posts for those of you just starting out. i know you're out there. wondering if this is your year? the year when you finally do something?

and you know what? IT IS! i'm not done yet, so i'm still right there with you. i've got 8lbs till i reach my first goal of 70lbs but i might push it for a few more to stay in the middle of my ideal weight. if you've got specific questions i can address here on my blog or if there's anything you'd like to see me post about, please leave a comment and i'll see what i can do. i want to pay it forward as best i can.

different kid, same aunt susie :)

happy 1 year weight watchers anniversary to me!

single digits baby

sunday night was monumental for me. i left the gym after running 3.3 miles, headed to my local kohls, confidently grabbed a pair of size 8 levi's jeans and dashed into the dressing room quickly before someone caught a whiff of me. as i slipped on those single-digit pants i held my breath... i put one leg in... then the second leg in... pulled them up... secured the button... zipped the fly and... VICTORY! they fit! even after i released that breath.

so i did what any normal social-networking-crazed-woman would do- i snapped a photo with my iPhone and quickly took to twitter to share my joy!

within seconds the replies to my tweet came flying in and that's when i lost it. yes, i had a breakdown in the dressing room at kohls. i apologize to the other customers who had to hear my muffled sobs. i promise they were happy tears.

i sat down out of shock.

and then i stood up just to check myself out again.

just 11 short months ago i could barely fit in my size 16 jeans. i never thought single digit pants would be on my radar. i never thought i would run but yet i completed three 5k's in just two months and now i'm starting to train for a 10k. i never thought that i would be able to inspire people through my journey to health but somehow i find people telling me that i have and i am humbled.

and every single time i've taken to this blog or to facebook or instagram or twitter to share an accomplishment or milestone i am met by an overwhelming show of support. the tears that i shed in that dressing room weren't just for how far i've come but it was also for those of you that have come with me. that have cheered for me. that have congratulated me. that have motivated me to get off my butt and go run when i didn't feel like it. you can't place a value on that. to know that there are people out there rooting for your success... people you have never and maybe never will actually "meet?" it's incredible and so much of what i have been able to accomplish would not have been possible without YOU!

this year has been hard in so many ways but i know that i'm coming out of it a stronger, more confident, more beautiful woman. there were so many days where i felt alone and abandoned and after reflecting today i am reminded of how untrue that is.

i can and will set out to finish what i started and i hope you'll stick around to see it.

much love today,

the in between

i realize it's been about... oh 3 weeks since i last posted and that post was from my first day out of ten that i spent in romania... so to say i'm behind would be an understatement. the fact that i didn't post anymore while i was in romania might give you a clue as to how busy we were and how little free time i had. there is more to be said about that trip and the experiences i had there and hopefully i'll be able to share some of them with you soon.

transitioning back into regular routine has proved difficult. i always find that "re-entry" after a missions trip, whether you were gone for 2 weeks or 3 months, is a tough process. transitioning between vastly different cultures can be tricky to navigate and it can really mess with your head and make you question everything, which is both a blessing and a curse.

so i did what any normal person would do. i hid. oh wait, that isn't normal? well sometimes it's normal to me. you know, what do you do when you don't want to deal with things like ummm your emotions? you avoid them. you watch endless hours of friday night lights. you sleep for 11 hours a night. or maybe that's just me. i guess we all have our methods of coping. don't judge.

couple all the emotions you've just experienced after sitting in a tiny 2-room home in romania that houses 10 kids under the age of 15 with all the emotions of jumping into this holiday season after getting engaged last christmas and then breaking up 2 1/2 months later and well... that's just a recipe for disaster folks. that's exactly what i've felt like. a disastrous mess of emotions including anger at anything that breathes and overwhelming sadness and hopelessness that i wish i still wasn't feeling. oh man, writing all of that out just makes me sound so crazy. but you all know i like to keep things real around here when i can.

despite the messiness i've still managed to maintain myself on weight watchers. i'm so close to my original goal of 70lbs... only about 12 away. just crazy. i ran another 5k only 2 days after getting home from romania. it was great because i got to run with my sister, who i adore obviously, and it was so special. we're running another one on saturday here in our city. the finish line is only a block from my house. fantastic! so i guess i'm a runner now? feels weird saying, but it has to be true. i've logged over 43 miles in the last 7 weeks. that must qualify me as something.  ;)

thanks for all the support and love during this season. special thanks to all my ladies on twitter for the encouragement lately. xoxo

grace and peace,

my first 5k

i'm struggling to find the right words to begin this post. part of me wants to start by saying "thank you" for all of your sweet comments and words of encouragement regarding my 5k on friday. the other part of me wants to start by saying how amazing it felt to accomplish something that once seemed so overwhelming. instead i'll show you some pretty sweet photos that my lovely sis captured.  ;)

you can't run your first 5k without having a cheesy photo of you crossing the finish line. but i love it.

overall, it was an awesome experience. i think there were a few hundred people who ended up running. the start happened so fast and before i had time to really think i about it i was off. it was hard to find my pace because there were so many people and it felt like they were going so fast. i had to remind myself to slow down and not focus on the other people. it started raining shortly after the race started and didn't let up the whole time. when i approached the finish line my entire family (and my bestie) was there cheering me on. it was so special to see them there supporting me and so proud of what i did! somehow i managed to keep the tears at bay. my sister is another story. haha! she's so sweet and has been my biggest cheerleader.  :)

after the race my entire family went and had dinner together. my little brother was even in town from california this weekend so having him there was amazing. my family is incredible. they spent their friday night standing in the rain watching me run and for that i am so grateful.

yesterday i saw a flyer at a store for a 5k in november. i might just be hooked.

much love,

this is it

today's the day. i'm running my first 5k.

sometimes i wonder how i got here. in june i attempted to run a mile with my brother at the beach and it was pure torture. i somehow managed to do it but i thought i was gonna die. i wanted to give up so many times, but my brother's constant "you can do it" and "just a little farther" managed to keep me going. when i finished i felt exhausted, but on top of the world. by God's grace i had completed something that seemed so ominous, so impossible. i loved that feeling. i wanted more of that. so when my neighbor told me about a local 5k and asked me to run with her i told her yes. i finally put that couch to 5k app on my phone to good use and started training. i love how it eases you into running. it kept me motivated and feeling like i accomplished something each time. love that.

last week i ran the longest i had yet. 20 minutes of non-stop running and i felt great. in fact i even cried when i finished. i was just overwhelmed with how far i have come physically and the things my body is capable of doing now and so very grateful for the pounds that i've been able to shed this year (54 baby- oh yeah!). on sunday i pushed myself and made it to 25 minutes- just over 2 miles. i was excited, but nervous for today. so on tuesday i decided i was going to go for 3 miles. i set my phone to a distance run of 3 miles and off i went. when the app notified me i had completed 1 mile i had to chuckle to myself because i thought back to that first mile at the beach with my brother. i remembered how hard that was and here i was about to run 2 more miles. about halfway through my 2nd mile i started to get nervous. it was hot. i was tired. i wanted to stop. it was such a mind game for me. if only you could have been in my head at the time hearing the pep talks i was giving myself. when i run i literally have to tell myself over and over again- "YOU CAN DO THIS! YOU ARE STRONG! DON'T STOP!" somehow it works. but that last mile was tough. i was so close to stopping but then the biebster came on with "never say never" and there was no way i was gonna let myself stop with that song blasting in my ears. thank you justin for your quirky pop music that somehow keeps my butt in gear.

i'm not gonna lie- when i finished i thought i was gonna hurl. i was exhausted. i had pushed myself to the limit. i thought i was gonna pass out. i didn't. i chugged some water and shared the good news with my neighbors. i sent text messages to my family that pretty much said, "holy crap i just ran 3 miles." haha. they encouraged me. they cheered me on. i tweeted it and got so much support. it's just so crazy to me that i'm here. that i am capable of doing this. wow.

so all that to say i think i'm ready for tonight. i'm nervous as heck but that's typical for me. whenever i get myself in a new situation and i have no idea how things are gonna turn out i go all type A and freak out. so a lot of that is happening today but it's all good. when the race starts i'm just gonna run and hopefully keep running until i cross that finish line. will i be crying? it's quite possible. just the thought of that finish line has set me into tears the last couple days. this is such an emotional experience for me... it's hard to explain. with everything that has happened this year- to be here... doing this... it's just nuts. and a testimony to God's grace and goodness. that he's managed to bring me through all the pain and struggle the past 6-7 months and produce a stronger, healthier person... it's humbling.

i could probably ramble on an on about this especially in my nervous state so i'll stop now. thanks for all the cheers and prayers. send them my way this evening around 6:30.  :)

much love,


 

update and ww vlog

it's been almost 8 full months since i jumped on the weight watchers bandwagon and things sure have changed... mainly me. i feel like i have grown so much during this process and discovered things about myself that i knew were there but that i had hidden under layers of shame and fear. with each goal and milestone reached i feel myself becoming more of the person i'm supposed to be... the person i've always wanted to be. if weight's been a struggle most of your adult life (or even your whole life) then you can probably understand. it's hard to explain but i guess i just feel more free... less of that trapped-in-your-body-feeling that i felt for so long.

i could probably go on and on about that whole subject but we'll save that for another post! my sister kate and i were hanging out yesterday and decided we should really do another vlog since it had been... oh months since our last one. we had to record it twice due to user error so this one starts off with me cracking up... haha... this is real life people. enjoy!


Weight Watchers vlog 3 from Katie Balla on Vimeo.

as always- thanks for the support and encouragement. i'm convinced social media has been a major motivator for me in all of this. knowing i have others alongside me going through this and getting the cheers and love from all of you keeps me going! last week i posted this photo on facebook and the response was overwhelming. i'm so humbled to be surrounded by such awesome people. seriously. you all rock.

 

much love,

 

proof in pictures

i went to the doctor today. turns out i have bronchitis. a mild case, but bronchitis none-the-less. i'm glad i went. my chest has been hurting for days and i had a feeling it was more than just a little cold. i'm on antibiotics now so hopefully things will clear up quickly. but alas, this is not the reason for my post.

i used to hate going to the doctors and that was primarily for one reason. the dreaded scale. what is it about those scales at the doctors offices that's so intimidating? i think it probably has to do with the fact that a perfect stranger is standing there adjusting the scale to find your dreaded number. suddenly it's as if you're sharing this intimate moment with someone you just met. after all, for some of us our weight is one of our deepest darkest secrets and God forbid someone knows the truth. please tell me i'm not the only one who has had these thoughts?

all that to say, today i had none of those feelings. when the nurse called my name she apologized and said that i would have to get weighed today because i hadn't been there in so long. i told her that was fine and happily jumped up on that scale because i'm proud of where i am today. i was extra excited when it was only a pound different from what my scale at home said before i left. sometimes i swear those digital at-home scales are way off, but mine is actually right on.

so get ready. i'm about to share one of my deepest, darkest secrets with you...

i snuck a peek at my chart to see what i weighed the last time they weighed me there (it was 2008 btw- i'm so bad about going to the doctor). it said 221. yup, that's 221lbs. and when i weighed in on my first day of weight watchers this past january? 224. oh dear jesus, hold me now. did i really just put that out there on the web? i guess so.

today their scale said 184. yeah that's 40 lbs people. no wonder i was so stoked to jump on that scale. my doctor was absolutely thrilled with my weight loss and encouraged me to keep going, which i thoroughly plan on doing! and even though 184 sounds great when compared to 224, i still have more journey ahead of me. i can't wait to bust into the 170s and so on and so on. honestly, i cannot tell you how great it feels to be in control of my body in a positive way. i am changing for the better and it is so much fun! this week i fit into size 10 shorts from the loft. i haven't worn a size 10 since i was 20 and i'm almost 29! at target the other day i snagged a dress off the clearance rack in size medium and IT FIT! who is this girl? seriously? you mean 16s and XLs aren't in my clothing vocabulary anymore? wow. i'm just amazed.

if you would have asked me back in january if i thought i'd feel this good about my body today i don't know what i would have told you. every day i get more comfortable in my skin. every day i am shrinking in size, but growing in confidence. sometimes i get this crazy irrational fear that maybe i haven't actually lost weight. maybe it's in my head. yeah, that's a bunch of nonsense. just look at old pictures, sue. you have done this and you are going to continue to do this.

i browsed through some photos and found a couple full body shots... one from 2008 and one from january of this year. below that you'll see a couple shots taken at the beach last week. i'd say the change is pretty obvious. these are definitely not before and afters because i'm still in the middle of this weight loss journey but i think it's good to stop and reflect on how far i've come and to encourage myself to keep at it. see for yourself.

 

 

so the proof is in the pictures i guess. i'm not crazy after all! haha!

thanks for all of your support and encouragement as i keep on trucking through this!

 

going for my goals

i'm in my 21st week of doing weight watchers and i'm still constantly amazed at the progress i'm making and the positive changes happening in my life. as of yesterday i am down 35.5lbs. that's an average of 1.7lbs a week which is right on track for healthy weight loss. i've been at this process for almost half a year! that's just crazy to me.

does it sound like i'm tooting my own horn? oh wait... i am! because i am proud of sticking with this. i'm proud of my discipline and my self control. although i couldn't have done this without God giving me strength daily... let's be honest. or my amazing sister who i get to walk this journey with. i think healthy positive reinforcement is a good thing and man- i just feel good!

i found a picture from christmas and put it side-by-side with a photo my sister took of me on sunday. i see the difference... do you?

 

for any of you on this weight loss journey- don't give up! this isn't about quick results. you are changing your life one day at a time. we all have bad days. trust me- i've been there. in the midst of all of this i lost one of the most special relationships i had. if anyone had a reason to give up, it was me. and i'm so glad i didn't. in fact, i think sticking with this during my difficult season has given me something positive to focus on and allowed me to do this for myself and no one else. i'm learning how strong God actually created me to be and i love it. i feel so empowered!

it's not over yet though! and you wanna know the truth? oh gosh... i can't believe i'm gonna write this...

i'm only halfway there.

oh man.

yup.

my goal? the one i've been so afraid to voice? is to lose 70lbs... by the end of the year if at all possible.

...........

i hate setting goals. i've never been a goal setter. because? i have an intense fear of failure. what if i set a goal and i don't meet it? i don't wanna put all that pressure on myself! but you know what? this is a new season for me. a season of growing and stretching and becoming all God wants me to be and that includes letting go of my fears!!! so there you go. i set a goal. and my worth and value are not based upon whether i reach it or not. i'm loved regardless. so boo to you failure. i don't care about you anymore. you aren't gonna have power over me anymore.

wow. i feel even more empowered now. haha. that was awesome.

thanks for your support as i travel this crazy adventure.

 

milestone week

i'm gonna celebrate for a minute and toot my own horn so bear with me...

i hit my 30lbs weight loss monday!!!! hooray!!!

i'm not great at celebrating these victories because i'll admit, i'm always looking towards the next milestone. as soon as i hit 30 i was trying to figure out if i can hit 40 by my family vacation. where was the stopping to be present in the current accomplishment? my sister lovingly reminded me of this monday as i was already looking ahead... quickly moving on from the joy of that moment.

so i thought i would post on my blog as a way of reminding myself to stop and celebrate and be thankful for how far i've come! i still feel like i have so far to go, but that's alright. one day at a time. this isn't a get-rich-quick scheme. this is a lifestyle change. a retraining of the brain. self-discipline. focus. determination.

i've realized over the last couple of months, as i've had to let some dreams go, that it can be hard coming up with new dreams... or realizing ones that have been pushed down for so long... and yesterday it hit me. this is one of my dreams. to be healthy. to not be overweight. to be happy in my own skin. and i'm going for it! sure it might not change the world, but it will change me and how i interact with it which makes it positive and something i should be proud to be working towards.

happy wednesday!

 

weight watchers vlog #2

it's that time again! kate and i recorded another vlog to talk about weight watchers... this time we're covering dining out and snacks.



in the video we reference a site we use to find the point values of foods at some of our favorite restaurants. it's called exercise4weightloss.com and i find it SO useful! in fact as i was browsing today i noticed that they have the points for rita's water ice... a must have for the summertime!

we talked a bit about snacks but i feel like i should share some more of my "go-to's." i love love love applesauce and since i buy the all-natural, no sugar added version, i consider it free. sprinkle some cinnamon on top and yum! i buy the small pre-packaged cups and use it as a side to my lunches regularly! i also love having a wedge of laughing cow cheese (garlic herb is my favorite) with some reduced-fat triscuits (1pt for the cheese, 3 for 7 triscuits). i especially love having that alongside some progresso light soup. they have points plus values on the can which is super convenient! my snacks aren't always super healthy either... i like chocolate just as much as the next gal so i always keep a stash of some type of hershey's chocolate. currently it's mini kit-kats and reese's cups and they're in my freezer. at 2pts each it's a great way to get my fix!

i think i go in cycles with my snacking. i like something for a couple weeks and then i switch out to something else. quaker has these great mini rice cakes called "quakes" and they're pretty good if you're into rice cakes. i also like the little debbie 100-calorie nutty bars. gives me that chocolate-peanut butter goodness. animal crackers are actually reasonably low and satisfy my "crunch" craving... i think you can have about 16 or so for only 3 points which isn't too bad.

so those are some more tips from me that aren't included on the video but i just wanted to share for anyone out there who is looking for some new ideas! and if you have any other dining out or snacking tips then feel free to pass them along.

hope you're all having a great week!

 

weight watchers vlog intro

so it's no secret that my sister kate and i have been on the weight watchers train since january. and i think it's no secret that we love the program a whole lot and are amazed at the results we've achieved so far! i'm down 25.5lbs. can i get an amen? :)

after throwing the idea out into twitter-land and receiving some positive feedback on our idea, we decided to do a vlog together to share our experiences. obviously it can't all be summed up in one video (or it would be foreverrrrrrrrr long) so hopefully this is the first of more to come.



if you have any questions feel free to leave them in the comments section and i'll do my best to respond or cover it in a future vlog. thanks for the support and encouragement. it's nice to know we aren't alone on this journey and that we've got people cheering us on!

and no, we were not asked or compensated by WW to do this... it's only out of our love and devotion for the program that we're sharing all this. haha... but who knows? maybe one day we'll end up on a commercial? sike. but it would be cool.

have a lovely day!


 

blessings abound

last night i was thinking about all the incredible blessings in my life these days and i decided i wanted to share some with you. i'm realizing that keeping my heart in that place of gratitude fights off the blues that try to come at me... and sure, sometimes they win, but only for a moment. God has a way of drawing me back into His loving embrace when i stray or begin to think that i can handle this on my own. such a gracious Father He is.

if you follow me on twitter, it's no secret that i'm doing weight watchers. have been for 13 weeks now. that's 13 weeks of tracking every.single.thing that i put in my mouth. holy moses batman! that sounds crazy. really though? it's not that difficult. and it makes me so much more aware of what i eat. i'm down 22lbs and i still have a ways to go, but it's so exciting! if you're doing any kind of weight-loss program i would encourage you to take your measurements! if you don't see results on the scale, you WILL see them in those measurements, trust me. i added mine up yesterday and i have lost 17 total inches off my body! 5.5 of those are off my waist alone. YES! i'm thinking about doing a blog soon with some of my tips and tricks that i've found helpful... maybe katie and i will do a vlog about it or something since we've been doing this together? we'll see...

i absolutely LOVE my church. we just recently moved out of meeting in a house to a community building in the middle of the city and it's awesome. it's a lot of hard work, especially because i'm the children's ministry director, but God is doing great things. we've also recently launched 3 small groups in the city and they are growing and people are entering into relationship with the Father and each other and it is beautiful! our salvation is truly worked out alongside one another in community. we were not designed to walk this journey alone and i am beyond blessed at the support and encouragement i receive DAILY from all of them. we don't have a website yet, but we have been recording messages so if you're interested in learning about what it means to be reconciled to God, yourself, others and creation go check out our podcasts here! (shameless plug i know, but they will change your life! for reals!)

spring is here! yes, that means lots of rain, but sprinkled throughout those rainy days there have been some lovely sunshiny times and it's been fabulous. spring holds so much hope and promise and that is something i cling to these days! plus, the season surrounding easter is such a special one. a time when we get to reflect on the amazing sacrifice of our creator and bask in the love that He has for us and the victory that He has over the grave! oh yeah! it doesn't get any better than that! plus, springtime means long walks outside and trips to the park with my nieces. we went on Monday and kyra informed me that she wanted to play hide 'n seek. before long i had about half the playground hiding with me, being lookouts and running around. it was fun. kids love me. what can i say? haha!

my heart is full today... there are so many more things i could share with you but i'll leave it at that. i've been writing in my gratitude journal daily- making my list of 1,000 gifts/moments/experiences that i'm grateful for. i'm only in the 50's so i have a long way to go but each one causes me to stop and reflect and be thankful which is the ultimate blessing.

happy wednesday everyone!