reflecting on my 20s

i'm 29 today. all week i've been asking myself where my twenties went, but then tonight i started to really think about it and i know exactly where they went...

i spent some of it working for my family's business, alongside my best friends. long days, but fun days. traveling around the east coast and getting paid to sleep in nice hotels and eat at fancy restaurants. oh those were the days. and i thought life was so hard back then... oh if i only knew, right lyryn?

i spent almost a year of it with ywam... meeting new people... learning that i could survive away from home. tragedy struck that year, but God brought me through and i realized the value of living life in community with others.

i jumped into the life of full-time ministry after leaving my 9-5 job. although there are days i miss the structure of a 9-5 i wouldn't trade what i'm doing for the world. i have grown and been stretched in so many ways because of it and i think God knew that's exactly what i needed.

i spent time seeing the world. i went to 7 countries... mexico, chile, costa rica, panama, england, romania and zambia... heck i even lived in zambia for 3 months... the time spent in those countries has greatly shaped the person i am today and i'm so blessed to have had those experiences.

i've watched as those i love the most made lifelong commitments... then babies started arriving (and i have a feeling will continue to arrive for quite some time)... and i became an aunt to 3 beautiful little girls and 1 handsome little guy.

i bought a house and spent lots of time turning it into my home. i feel like this home was such a special gift and i'm doing what i can to take the best care of it possible. i love that when people come here they always remark on how calm and peaceful it is. it's definitely my little safe haven so i love that other people feel that way, too.

i could go on and on about the beautiful and painful things i've experienced so far but that would take far too long. all i know is that i am grateful for this life that i get to live and i'm doing my best to embrace this season that i'm in. i'm gonna milk my 20s for all it's worth... even if that's only 1 more year.  :)

 

happy birthday lyryn!

today is a special day... today my best friend turns 29 (which also means my 29th birthday is right around the corner... yikes).

i've been lucky enough to have lyryn in my life for over 11 years now and her friendship has been a gift from the beginning. i know God brought us both together right when we needed it the most. some friends come and go, but lyryn isn't one of them. she is one of the most loyal people i know and will stand by you through thick and thin. she doesn't let anyone stand in the way of the people she loves and i admire that in her so much.

on friday night we had a girls night out to celebrate lyryn and it was a blast. honestly going into it i wasn't sure how i felt about it. i don't go out much and usually prefer staying at home but it felt so good to get out. it was especially fun to curl my hair, put on a cute dress and hit the town with some incredible ladies. i needed that so much... i think we all did. we laughed... we even cried... but most of all we celebrated life. we're all in different seasons of it but yet still find so many things to relate on. it's  a beautiful thing.

so here's to you lyryn and another incredible year ahead! thank you for being there with me through the ups and downs in life... for believing in me... for loving me. you are an amazing friend, sister, wife, mother and so much more. i love you forever and ever!


 

happy birthday emeline!

yup, it's another birthday post. yesterday was my mom, today it's emeline!

it's hard to believe that this little munchkin is a year old already! i know i'm only her aunt but my lord, this child has stolen my heart. i hoped her and i would have a special bond because of how close her mommy and i are but you never really know. i might be biased but i think we're pretty tight. ;)

i was so privileged to witness her incredible entrance into this world and i hope i always get to be there for her special moments. seriously, this child is a pure joy to be around. she is one of the happiest, silliest and lovable kids you'll ever meet. she has this ability to make people feel so special and loved. she can connect with strangers in an instant. it's a gift and one that i pray she always holds onto!

since kate and i spend a lot of time together i get to see emeline a lot, too and it's awesome. watching her little personality come to life over the last year has been such a joy. she's a treasure to be around and truly a blessing from the lord. and watching my sister be a mom? wow. one of the most amazing things ever. seriously. if you know kate, you know she loves hard and emeline is no exception. that little girl is so blessed. and her daddy is pretty cool, too.  :)

oh eme kay! you are so loved! i'm so happy that i get to be your aunt susie! i hope you have a very happy birthday today and that God will continue to grant health and peace to you in this next year. love love love you dear one!

 

ps- fun fact: emeline is the official link that makes me and my bestie, lyryn related. haha... ok maybe not officially but we like to think so. we're both her aunties which is awesome since kate is my sister and declan is her brother. pretty sweet huh? :)

happy birthday mom!

it has been a whirlwind week... most of my free time from work was spent helping kate get all the final details together for eme's 1st birthday party on saturday. it was an awesome day and she posted a fun photo recap on her blog. if you haven't seen it yet- be sure to check it out. she's amazing.

today is a very special day! it's my mom's birthday today. i feel like every year her birthday gets lost and/or combined with mothers day. she's always so gracious about it of course but i still wanted to give her a little blog shoutout.

my mom is one amazing lady. if you know her, you'd understand. she's one of the strongest women i know and so compassionate and giving. if you're sad or upset she'll be the first person to come hug you or cry right alongside you. she's so incredibly selfless and would give you the shirt off her back if you needed it. my mom has definitely taught me how to love others... especially those who the rest of the world rejects.

she's a spiritual mom to so many. most people call her "mama ruthie" and there's a reason for that. they feel the love of a mother from her. i'm one of only 4 people who actually get to say that she really is their mom. a pretty special privilege if i do say so myself. you always know you've got a great mom when people tell you how jealous they are and that they wish they had a mom like yours! the older she gets the more adventurous she becomes. she's gone to africa with me twice and that's a tough trip!

so happy birthday mom! i hope you get to rest a bit today and soak in this beautiful day. thanks for all the love you to continue to pour out to me and the rest of our family. we're so blessed to have you! i love you so much and i'm so honored to be your daugher! 

 

for my kater

i love my sister.

today is her birthday.

they say a sister is like a built-in best friend. i couldn't agree more.

almost every day includes conversations about nothing and everything at the same time.

i love my sister.

today is her birthday.

she makes me laugh almost every single day.

i am who i am because of our relationship. i try not to take that for granted.

i love my sister.

today is her birthday.

she's an incredible wife and mother and i look up to her so much.

i know i'm the "big" sister but she teaches me things every single day.

i love my sister.

today is her birthday.


 

28 years young

i know i'm way overdue for a "i'm back from zambia and this is how i feel post" but honestly i'm not there yet. it's hard to describe what living in a village for a month and then coming back to america does to you. so forgive me for not being "there" yet, but it will come eventually.

i felt the need to post today because it's my birthday and one of the things i do enjoy about having a blog is getting to look back at previous birthdays and see what i wrote. so this year is no exception!

today marks 28 years since i made my grand entrance into this planet. wow typing it out makes it feel so real. in some ways i feel like that's so old, but at the same time still so young. once again i find myself looking over my life and reflecting on all that i've been through. this is usually the time where i think about where i wanted to be by this age, but nope- not this year. i'm not going to spend my day wishing i was somewhere else in life but i'm going to be thankful for where i am now and all that i've been blessed with!

• my family- i am so blessed to have such a wonderful family who actually enjoy spending time together and make it fun every time!
• my nieces- ok so they are part of my family but they deserve their own bullet because they are so stinkin' adorable and so much of who i am now is because of being an aunt to them. they bring me constant joy and i can't wait to get more (and maybe a nephew or 2 as well). ;)
• my job- i hate even calling what i do a "job" because it's almost become like a lifestyle to me. working with hbb has challenged me and taught me to be a better leader. i mean come on, i get to travel and see people's lives transformed- it doesn't get any better than that!
• my house- i am so so so very thankful for my little house that is slowly turning into a home. this was one of the best things that happened this year and i still have to pinch myself sometimes to believe it's real.
• my community- i am so blessed to live in a community where there are people i can call on at a moment's notice. i love that we're all trying to live life together and learning what it means to serve each other in love. it's such a beautiful picture of what the church should be and it literally brings me to my knees at the beauty of it.

i could go on and on about all the amazing people in my life who make me what i am today, but i want to keep this short. you all know who you are and i'm so thankful for each of you!

today i choose joy and peace and contentment in the journey that God has me on... knowing that each day gets better than the last and each day i'm becoming a stronger, more compassionate, more loving woman.

thank you lord for 28 years of breath in my lungs and life in my bones! can't wait to see what the future holds!

happy birthday kesh!

today i want to celebrate and honor a very special person in my life. technically i have to call her my sister-in-law but i've come to despise that terminology. the 'in-law' part has a bit of a bad connotation to it, which we can probably all attest to. often we switch it out and say sister-in-love which is nice, but kesh is oh so much more. i literally feel like i have gained a sister by having her in my life. i had no idea when she came into my life just over 10 years ago the impact she would have on me, the encouragement she would give me and the confidant she would become.

she is such an incredible wife, mother, sister and friend and i can't imagine my life without her. she has taught me so much about life and love and walks in humility daily, knowing that she is nothing if her heart is not first bent towards the lord. i value our relationship so much and can't imagine life without her!

so kesh, i hope you enjoy your last year of being a 20-something... haha. don't worry, i'm not too far behind you. i love you so much!

happy birthday to a special girl

dear kyra,

you are 3 years old today. even as i type that i almost can't believe how quickly the time has gone by. you were the one who finally made me an aunt- the job i'd been dreaming about for years. i pretty much missed your first year of life cause God had me all over the world so thanks for not holding that against me. i hope i've more than made up for it though with all the time we spend together now. this is the first time i've been with you on your birthday and i couldn't be more excited!

you are such a spunky, energetic little girl. you make me laugh and smile and shake my head all at the same time. i love that every time i see you i get to hear you say "it's susie!" most of the time you're excited to see me and it makes my heart happy. you see kyra, i'm not sure i could love you any more if i'd birthed you myself. on friday night you cuddled with me for a few minutes (which is a rare feat) and i asked you if you loved me. you replied with an enthusiastic "YES" and i told you how much i loved you. thanks for letting me have that moment kid. i know you don't understand all the mushy-gushy stuff just yet but i'll hold that memory in my heart forever.

i love that sometimes mommy lets you and i have time together, just the 2 of us. those are my favorite times cause it's just you and me and i get to listen to you jabber away about anything and everything. you are such a smart little girl. i'm amazed by how much information you already have in that toddler brain of yours! i'd like to say that you take after me in that sense, but your mom is brilliant so i guess she gets the credit. :)

kyra, i hope you have very special birthday today. i'm so glad i get to spend it with you! you bring me such joy and i'm so glad God entrusted you to be a part of our family. you are so loved by all your grandparents, aunts, uncles, counsins and even soon-to-be cousins! i pray that as you grow you will understand the depth of love that your heavenly father has for you and that He will show you the best ways to express it to the people around you. God has special plans for you. i think you're destined to be an adventurous world-traveler like me and i hope someday we'll have an opportunity to spread God's love together. mom and dad already said you can go to africa with me when you're 13... or was it 15? i'm gonna push for 13. 10 more years kiddo. can't wait.

love you so very much!

aunt susie

bye bye 26

i have to give major kudos to my mom for my birthday present. now i know it might not seem creative and heck it was easy to do, but for me it meant a lot!


yes, gift cards.

now i know how easy it is to find gift cards these days. gas stations all over the country are allowing us to be last-minute shoppers thanks to those handy-dandy gift card stands, but i must say that getting a bag full of gift cards was so much fun! here's what i got: kohl's, applebees, wawa, amazon, starbucks, chili's, itunes, panera bread, subway, and cvs. let's just say it was a lot of money and this present is going to last me weeks!!! plus, another friend gave me a starbucks gift card, too and my bff gave me one to a local spa so i can get a facial! my lovely sissy gave me a shirt, shoes and earrings. had to return the shirt cause it didn't fit but i got a super cute sweater instead!

my parent's had a business dinner in philly tonight so i went out with some of my siblings and a few friends and we had fun. we were supposed to go to on-the-border for some good old mexican food but they were closed!!! apparently they had some plumbing issues. we ended up at applebees instead which is a sad replacement, but it ended up ok. they sang to me and i got a hot fudge sunday that my lovely niece kyra shared with me. she was literally feeding me with the spoon and even managed to keep me clean!

a quick target run with my sis-in-love ended the evening and it was fantastic. and we all know how much i love target. :)

27 is looking good so far.

they say it's my birthday

today is my 27th birthday, but that's not what i'm writing about. last night as i was lying in bed attempting to drift into dreamland i realized that my mind hadn't gotten the memo and was still moving way too fast. so i started wondering why it is that this always happens to me. almost every night before i fall asleep i'm consumed with thoughts of things i should have done that day, things i need to do tomorrow and everything else in between. many nights i find myself on the verge of a panic attack because of all the overwhelming feelings i have. i think i discovered why this happens. distractions.

or perhaps i should say, lack-thereof? unless i zonk out to the tv (which i hate doing) my time in bed right before i fall asleep is one of the few times during the day when i'm not distracted by something... tv... internet... books... other people. it's the only time that my mind actually gets to sit and process and reflect. this.is.not.good.

i really need to be better about taking time first thing in the morning to just listen and reflect on what needs to be done instead of pushing it off until the next day which i am oh-so-good at. i need to motivate myself to get moving and start crossing those things off my to-do list. how wonderful would it be to start every day like that?

but today is my birthday. so i think i'll start tomorrow. :)

dear kylie joy joy

it's hard to believe that 1 year ago today i was racing to paoli hospital with my bff behind the wheel to meet you little one. i remember exactly where we were on the 30 bypass when i got the text message from your daddy that you had arrived. boy, were we excited to meet you! lyryn was particularly anxious to get her camera on your beautiful face and we are all so grateful that she did. i'll never forget how beautiful your momma looked that night. she was literally glowing and didn't look like she'd just delivered you. she was so calm and peaceful which is probably why you came out that way, too.

unfortunately only 6 weeks after you were born i left the country for 3 months. while i was in zambia your mommy would call me and tell me all the latest things you were doing. she always remarked about what a good baby you were and how much you were growing. the day i came home from africa i literally couldn't wait to see you. i came with aunt katie to visit you that same day (after not sleeping for over 24 hours). thankfully your mom was ready with camera in hand to document the special moment.


the last 7 months or so have passed in a blur as i've watched you learn to grab things, babble in your adorable little baby voice and crawl at lightening speed when something catches your eye. it's been a joy to watch you change every week as you discover new things that you can do. it's obvious you adore your big sissy and i know you 2 will grow to be best friends just like me and aunt katie. it's hard to explain a sisterbond to people who've never experienced it and i'm glad i won't have to with you. you'll just know. :)

kylie joy, you truly have brought so much joy into my life. every time i see you i'm greeted with the biggest smile and you have no idea how much my heart leaps every time. you are so full of love and i pray that always stays with you. i know God has wonderful plans for you little one. i feel honored to be your aunt and to get to watch you grow up.

so happy 1st birthday ky-ky. i love you sooooooooooo much!!!!


aunt

naps are a very good thing

today was a very full day yet i still managed to sneak in a hour and a half long nap. hooray for that!

it started off with church this morning where i had the awesome privilege of leading worship. in the beginning i got a little emotional and overwhelmed at the thought that God would use me to lead all these people into His presence. i recognized how special and totally humbling that was and it took me aback for a minute. i was so blown away to see the way the congregation responded and just got into it. it was so beautiful to watch and be a part of. i'm definitely glad i went through the school of worship with ywam because i felt much more equipped and prepared for what i was doing. i'm excited to continue growing in that area!

i also feel like God clearly spoke to me this morning about my next steps. i feel at peace about it and i'm excited to get started. i'm really starting to feel more like myself again which is really nice. i think i realized that i'm much more of an introvert than i used to think. as much as i like being around people, spending a lot of alone time this past month has been really good for me. i feel more "charged" if that makes sense.

anyways, after church myy whole family went out to lunch because it was my sister-in-law kesh's birthday! we went to on the border which is so yummy. it was fun and pretty low-key which is unusual for my family... haha... my niece kyra was as cute as ever. she is just too stinking cute sometimes. i love it!

i took a nice nap later in the afternoon while the boys watched football. i like taking naps around other people which is kind of funny. i think i feel peaceful knowing there's other people around. after my nap i went out to a diner with my sister and her hubby. later on we met up with my dad and brother and went bowling for a little while. my dad's a good bowler but he hasn't gone in a while so he was a little rusty. we had a good time, though. hopefully we can get him to come with us again.

i'm really excited about the new few months and what God's gonna do with me. i feel like i might finally be at a point in my life where i can laugh at the days to come (as proverbs 31 puts it). that's what i want... to look at the future not with anxiety, but excitement and joy!