last night i made a big boo-boo. with the accidental click of a button i managed to delete 3 years worth of photo albums, including tags, comments, etc from my facebook. as soon as i realized what was happening i tried to stop it, but it was too late. and then the panic set in. i literally felt the anxiety wrapping around me in a choke-hold. i called my sister right away of course because i knew she wouldn't judge me for actually crying over my silly mistake. i kid you not when i tell you that i felt myself on the verge of a full-blown panic attack. over missing photos. on facebook. i still had all the photos on my laptop mind you. the only place they were missing from was facebook.
oh i cringe just sharing this all with you. it's almost embarrassing really.
it took a good minute for me to calm down and when i did i started to really think about why it had me so upset. it's only facebook afterall! and then i got angry that some stupid website could stir up all kinds of crazy emotions in me. a website! a website that practically governs our lives these days it feels like. i felt like part of my history had been erased and wondered what would happen when someone wanted to peruse through the last 3 years of my life on facebook?
come on. really?!?!
and at that moment i decided i was not going to stay upset about my mistake. life is so much more than the photos i post on facebook. i thought about all the people i know living in various parts of the world with no internet access and certainly no facebook. they don't have a personal history available on a website for anyone to see and they're none the wiser. in fact, many of them are probably happier... or should i say more content... just being present in their day-to-day life. because life- my life- is more than what i put on a website.
i spent this past weekend at the beach with my boyfriend and his family and i didn't take a single picture or post anything about it on facebook. on sunday my SIL even texted me to ask about the weekend, noting my lack of instagramming. while i do love instagram it felt kind of nice to have a private weekend. to not share details or photos with the world. to store up those memories in my heart instead of an online database.
at the end of the day it isn't about the photos i've taken, the witty comments i've left or the random posts about my day... the real thing i want to be concerned with is- have i loved well? did i leave a positive impact on those i came in contact with today? did my interaction with them leave them feeling cared about? heard? understood?
and let me tell you... i have so far to go in that area. so very far. i want to and i need to be more intentional with being present with people. learning how to love better. sharing the goodness of God's grace. having more face-to-face heart-to-heart interactions. that's the personal history i want to be making, because we all know... facebook isn't forever. but love- yes LOVE IS!
grace and peace,
*i hate disclaimers but i'm gonna use one anyway. this is not a hate on facebook, or twitter, or instagram or the internet at all. just merely some convictions i felt after such a strong emotional reaction to losing those photos. i love the internet as much as the next person and believe it can be used for a lot of good. and i don't necessarily plan on stopping taking photos or posting status updates anytime soon either. just trying to remind myself of where my priorities need to be!