year of promise

i remember, as we were entering into 2011, seeing a lot of bloggers talking about their "word" for the year. for some it was gratitude, for others it was patience and i decided that my word was promise. 2011 was going to be a year of promise. i wrote it on my chalkboard in the hall and i smiled as i passed it daily. after all, it did seem that 2011 was full of promises being fulfilled. i was planning my wedding, which to me was one of the biggest promises in my life that i felt God was finally answering. the year felt so full of hope and anticipation and that assurance of this being the year of promise excited me.

fast forward to today. 2011 is more than halfway over. and looking back now i have to be honest and say that it's felt more like a year of broken promises. after my fiance and i broke up in march i couldn't stand looking at that chalkboard. it felt like it was mocking me. so finally i erased that hopeful message. i was angry and hurt and broken and i didn't want to think about how long it would likely be until that promise of marriage would ever be fulfilled. so i came across a bible verse that had been speaking to me at the time and i put that in its place. and that's how it has remained.

over the last week or so God keeps bringing that word promise back to me. reminding me that he hasn't forgotten about our word for this year... had i? no of course i hadn't forgotten about it, but i was doing my best to shove it away. so much pain attached to that. little by little, in His gentle way, God has been reminding me that His promises to me are never broken. He didn't cause this to happen. He allowed it, yes, but His plans for me still remain intact... unmoved... unshaken by earthly circumstances.

so this morning i stood in front of that chalkboard and i wept. and i told God i was sorry for not trusting Him completely. for feeling like He failed me and disappointed me. and i thanked Him for staying by my side... for His faithful presence in one of the darkest times of my life. and then i erased the words and in its place i wrote:

2011
is
STILL
the year of
PROMISE

while i might not be getting married this year, there are still plenty of promises in my life that God is fulfilling this year. i hope to share some of them with you soon.

so i continue to take it one step at a time... surprised by how fast this year is moving and all that has happened in a short period of time...  it's not an easy road, but i wasn't ever promised that. i was promised that i wouldn't walk it alone and i can totally attest to truth in that. 

grace and peace,