Tuesday, November 29, 2011

the in between

i realize it's been about... oh 3 weeks since i last posted and that post was from my first day out of ten that i spent in romania... so to say i'm behind would be an understatement. the fact that i didn't post anymore while i was in romania might give you a clue as to how busy we were and how little free time i had. there is more to be said about that trip and the experiences i had there and hopefully i'll be able to share some of them with you soon.

transitioning back into regular routine has proved difficult. i always find that "re-entry" after a missions trip, whether you were gone for 2 weeks or 3 months, is a tough process. transitioning between vastly different cultures can be tricky to navigate and it can really mess with your head and make you question everything, which is both a blessing and a curse.

so i did what any normal person would do. i hid. oh wait, that isn't normal? well sometimes it's normal to me. you know, what do you do when you don't want to deal with things like ummm your emotions? you avoid them. you watch endless hours of friday night lights. you sleep for 11 hours a night. or maybe that's just me. i guess we all have our methods of coping. don't judge.

couple all the emotions you've just experienced after sitting in a tiny 2-room home in romania that houses 10 kids under the age of 15 with all the emotions of jumping into this holiday season after getting engaged last christmas and then breaking up 2 1/2 months later and well... that's just a recipe for disaster folks. that's exactly what i've felt like. a disastrous mess of emotions including anger at anything that breathes and overwhelming sadness and hopelessness that i wish i still wasn't feeling. oh man, writing all of that out just makes me sound so crazy. but you all know i like to keep things real around here when i can.

despite the messiness i've still managed to maintain myself on weight watchers. i'm so close to my original goal of 70lbs... only about 12 away. just crazy. i ran another 5k only 2 days after getting home from romania. it was great because i got to run with my sister, who i adore obviously, and it was so special. we're running another one on saturday here in our city. the finish line is only a block from my house. fantastic! so i guess i'm a runner now? feels weird saying, but it has to be true. i've logged over 43 miles in the last 7 weeks. that must qualify me as something.  ;)

thanks for all the support and love during this season. special thanks to all my ladies on twitter for the encouragement lately. xoxo

grace and peace,


10 comments:

Ashley said...

As always, proud of you girl :) Can't wait to see you again on Saturday's 5K!!

Rachel said...

You are really such an inspiration to me...I know I say that a lot but really, I've fallen so far off the diet wagon that it makes me sort of ashamed about it. Can't believe I hit my goal weight and then gained 20 lbs back...what happened to my motivation? But thank you, thank you for inspiring me to get off the couch and get back in it.

Hailey @ "Me & My Boys" said...

I know I already gave you props on the post today, but seriously... you and Katie totally inspired me to give running another try. And to keep it up! I figure if 2 normal, non-runner girls can do it, then so can I. Thanks for the motivation. :)

Sarah-Life is what you make it said...

can't wait to hear all the stories from romania! 70!? thats like half a person susan! you inspire me!

Erin said...

I'm so happy to see you pop up in my Google reader! But I'm sad to hear this is shaping up to be a tough season for you. I too like to hide when life gets cloudy and you know what? Sometimes it's completely acceptable to hide for a while. And, no you're not crazy. A broken heart is something that takes far too long to heal. Just know we're all here to support you!

Glad you've decided to come out of hiding :)

ps- you ARE a runner! that's awesome!!

Dana said...

So proud of you! I am so envious and wish I could become a runner, so maybe you will inspire me :) And you DON'T sound crazy!! Normal!!! :) I am sorry you are still hurting :( Praying for you sweety! Love you!!!!

Kari said...

Ohhh,don't worry, you are not the only one who avoids emotions in order to not deal with them. I've been in that boat too!! All the time! haa

Christina said...

Well I think you are normal :)
I love that you are honest, and frankly find myself coping too instead of dealing w/ things...
I pray God helps you during this time, you are a blessed woman, and have so much to be proud of! You are a runner ;) You are so close to your goal weight and you are traveling to do mission work. That's amazing! You are amazing!

Laura said...

I cant wait to read about your trip to Romania!

I hide too when I'm feeling all the emotions I dont want to feel... no judgement here!

Katie @ Loves of Life said...

I loved running with you! you are totally a LEGIT runner! you rock. Thank you for inspiring me.