the big news

i'm sure most of you saw our big announcement on some form of social media (IG, twitter or facebook) but i figured i'd share it here as well in case anyone missed our big news! plus i can post a few more of the pictures that my incredibly talented sister katie took for us (in the span of about 10 minutes before it down poured).

fall is one of my favorite times of the year so i was really excited that we had a reason to take some pictures. i knew i wanted to incorporate pumpkins in some way and i didn't find any ideas that i loved after scouring pinterest, so i came up with this. i used my handy-dandy silhouette craft cutting machine and cut the words and feet out on vinyl. it was quick and easy! plus when we were finished i just peeled off the vinyl and now the pumpkins reside on our front porch.

our due date is may 9th which is my mom's birthday. my sister's daughter emeline was born on the 10th. we figured we'd just add to the craziness that is may in my family with those birthdays, mother's day, my parent's anniversary and my dad's birthday towards the end of the month. i see lots of parties on the calendar in future years which is A-ok with me! i love having a reason to celebrate!

jeff and i found out we were expecting on august 26th (i wasn't even 4wks yet). we actually found out while we were up at the young life camp in saranac, ny for a family weekend (the very same camp and weekend we got engaged last year). we had been trying to get pregnant that month (after waiting the recommended 2 months after the miscarriage) and i knew it would be the earliest i would be able to test and probably get a positive. i also know how special saranac is to jeff (and me) so i thought it would be amazing to get our positive while we were still there. i was pretty confident that i was expecting so i'm glad my suspicions were confirmed! here's the cellphone pic i snapped of the tests. the line was faint (as i was really early), but it was a line none-the-less! gotta love the digital tests that just tell it like it is.

so needless to say, it was a long, almost 8 weeks, of secret keeping. finally going public with the news made it feel so much more real which is so bizarre. we'd already had an ultrasound where we got to see the little baby and hear its heartbeat. you'd think it would have sunk in then, but not completely. although that was an incredibly surreal moment and the first time i felt like i was able to breathe. pregnancy after a loss is so hard. of course i have nothing to compare it to, but it's been a difficult process. i found myself having trouble fully accepting it out of fear that we would lose it again... and then feeling guilty for not being able to bond because of that fear... struggling to trust God with this little life growing inside me... feeling helplessly out of control because it was (and still is) out of my control... being scared every time i went to the bathroom (sorry for the TMI but that was my reality)... it's been a myriad of emotions.

but yes, there was nothing sweeter than seeing and hearing that little heart beating at our 8wk ultrasound.

we are overjoyed at this gift of life growing inside me. even typing that out is so weird! after years of wondering when i'd finally be at this place in life, and now experiencing it... well it's just overwhelming at times. life is about to really change, but in an incredible way.

jeff and i are so grateful for all the love and support we've received along the way. it's so incredible to know our little baby is already so loved and ready to be babysat for (thanks to all of our high school young life friends)!

we also want to say to those of you who are struggling in your own journey of conceiving or bringing your child home through other means that our hearts are with you. we are thinking of you and praying that the Father answers the desires of your heart!

grace and peace,