in may it will be 1 year since i bought my first home and it truly is my safe place. i thank God for this special gift and i'm doing my best to take care of it and make it a haven for others as well. i've done a little more decorating over the last couple of weeks and it's been a welcome distraction. sometimes i walk around and still shake my head at the fact that i own a home! it's such a humbling feeling.
i used to pride myself on being a fairly independent person. i thought i was fine on my own and could handle things myself. thankfully my heart has really changed and as a result i have realized my NEED for other people. God has placed me in a wonderful community of people who love me, support me and encourage me daily. i've come to learn what it means to be dependent on people in a healthy way and that it doesn't mean i'm weak- only human.
i know that i'm going through a really tough season emotionally, but i have my health and i try to remind myself often what a gift that is. i'm thankful for weight watchers and for my sister who is doing this with me and for the 18lbs that have been shed off my body so far. yeah baby! i'm thankful that i can go to the gym and work out my frustrations in a way that will ultimately benefit my body.
i'm thankful for the promise that despite the way things look today- THERE IS HOPE! i am trying my hardest to not lose sight of that and i struggle daily. sometimes it's hard to believe that things will work out or that our dreams will actually come to pass... so the only thing you can do is have hope. i'm reading a book right now called shattered dreams by larry crabb and i read this excerpt last night that spoke to me so much. i want to share it with you:
"Some of your fondest dreams will shatter, and you will be tempted to lose hope. I will seem to you callous or, worse, weak- unresponsive to your pain. You will wonder if I cannot do anything or simply will not.Happy Thursday!
As you struggle with dashed hopes, you will fail, just as My servant Peter did. You will feel discouraged with yourself to the point of self-hatred. And I will seem to withdraw from you and do nothing.
When all of this comes to pass, My word to you is this: Do not lose hope. A plan is unfolding that you cannot clearly see. If you could see it as I do, you would still hurt, but you would not lose hope. You would gladly remain faithful to me in the middle of the worst suffering. I guarantee you the power to please me, not to have a good time. But pleasing me will bring you great joy.
In the deepest part of your soul, you long more than anything else to be a part of My plan, to further My kingdom, to know Me and please Me and enjoy Me. I will satisfy that longing. You have the power to represent Me well no matter what happens in your life. That is the hope I give you in this world. Don't lose it."