i took a break from facebook for lent. my motivations weren't completely holy and righteous. in all honesty i was overwhelmed at the time with all that was happening in my life and i realized how important my privacy was to me. i had no idea how to begin telling people or who to tell and the thought of my business being put out on facebook sent me over the edge. it was then that i realized lent was about to begin and so i decided to give up facebook. for the most part it was an easy decision, but at the same time difficult, knowing how many people i would disconnect with.
on sunday night i reactivated my facebook account and then proceeded to delete about 170 of my "friends." funny that facebook chooses to word it like that. friends? really? since when are people from high school (who never talked to me then) considered friends? i just find it interesting. i guess my perspective has changed a lot and maybe i'm a bit jaded, but it's where i'm at. i just realize that facebook is an excuse to be nosy and dig into the lives of people you would otherwise have no business digging into. now, don't get me wrong here... i realize the benefits of facebook and i love it for the ways it allows me to keep in touch with actual friends around the world and family members who i don't get to see often. i'm not referring to that. i just know that for me, right now in this stage of life, i want to keep that space a bit more private and reserved for those i do feel close to.
i realize that this might sound completely contradictory considering the fact that i have a blog that anyone in the world has access to... and if people stumble across it then so be it. i know what i'm putting out there and that i might be surprised to actually know who reads. in fact, i've been surprised by the number of people who found out what's been happening in my life because of my blog. people i had no idea read... you know who you are! haha! so comment once in a while would ya?
i don't know where i'm going with this post. it has been weird though... being back on facebook... changing my "engaged" relationship status and then deleting the post from my feed so people don't notice. ugh. honestly i've felt so dirty since being back on. does that sound weird? yeah, probably. it's hard to explain. i just don't wanna get sucked back into the vortex of it. i've enjoyed my extra time from being off it and i know jesus has, too since it meant more time for him. man, sometimes i have things so backwards.
so that's where i'm at with all of that.
no easter recap for me. it was a beautiful day, but also a really hard one for me for a number of reasons. i spent several hours of it crying, but thank God for good friends and family who were there to listen. life is hard sometimes and it's ok to admit that. sometimes even freeing.
lost another pound and a half this week which means i'm at 27lbs total. can't wait to cross that 30lb threshhold. hoo to the ray.
grace and peace,